“You look too well presented to be sick.”
January 19, 2016
I was in a government agency appointment last week and a psychologist told me that I looked too well presented to be sick. Here is my response.
“You look too well presented to be sick.”
Too well presented?? |
“You look too well presented to be sick.”
Why thank you for your compliment.
I thank you for your thoughts.
I thank you for noticing the effort it took to make it out of my house.
The hour it took to shower and dress,
then lie down on my bed.
The time to dab some makeup on,
and painfully do my hair.
The way I need to hide the nausea,
the breakfast left behind.
The excruciating pain that jolts my joints
that seized up on the drive.
To compensate for the slowed cognition,
the fog that clouds my brain.
The medications that sway my step,
and make me live on edge.
I'm glad that I can hide this truth...
it is better left unseen.
"You look too well presented to be sick."
Why thank you for your compliment.
I thank you for your thoughts.
I thank you for noticing the values I hold dear.
They told me I needed to be at this meeting,
and so that is why I am here.
I turn up to my appointments.
I submit my paperwork on time.
I do my exercises,
I take my meds,
I mostly rest when told.
Yet turning up for this meeting,
dressed and prepared to talk,
has meant this is the only thing my body can do today.
I am here before you in this moment.
A glimpse of me in my life.
I am a professional by education,
I am now a professional in sickness too.
I pulled myself together,
I sacrificed to make it happen.
I went all out to be here.
You will not see what I couldn't do
to make it all this way.
The cleaning, cooking, shopping
all left for others to do.
The future dreams left unfulfilled.
Yet I made it to this meeting.
You had better make it good.
"You look too well presented to be sick."
Why thank you for your compliment.
I thank you for your thoughts.
My age, my race, my education,
does not change a single thing.
Whether I ate all my veggies as a child
or left the broccoli on the side.
Running a marathon, or lifting weights,
or simply one to stroll,
This disease does not discriminate.
It does not pick and choose it’s playmates.
It takes each one of us captive,
It chooses how it takes it’s hold.
"You look too well presented to be sick."
Why thank you for your compliment.
But have you stopped and thought.
What does a sick person really look like?
All spotty and pale?
All woe to the world?
Or do I need to leave the house in my PJ’s
to make you tick the box?
Do my actions and my values whilst I am sick and ill,
do my actions and my values need to change at all?
Yes I am sick and downtrodden.
My world has fallen apart.
My dreams, desires and life are on hold
and I feel like rubbish ALL the time.
Yet I have hope and new formed dreams.
A future and a life.
So thank you for your compliment...
I must do Chronic Fatigue Syndrome well!
If I can pull off looking this well
I trust that this is swell.
But maybe your thoughts towards sickness may need to change as well.
So thank you for your compliment,
I thank you for your thoughts.
To me it shows that understanding
by health professionals and government agencies
has a long long way to go.
But thank you for your compliment,
because obviously I am pulling off sickness like a pro!
17 comments
That was brilliant. Beautiful and brilliant and true. Thank you for expressing what so many of us feel.
ReplyDeleteLove TRUTH & HUMOUR.....THANK YOU <3
ReplyDeleteThis is perfect. So well written. Thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteDonna
http://www.februarystars.co.uk
So good! You look too "good" then people question whether you're really sick, but if you look too poorly you get rude comments in a whole other direction.
ReplyDeleteWith this kind of 'respect,' no wonder we don't get any help.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant...absolutely brilliant! It's spot on and presented with just the right amount of humour!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for writing this for all of us!!! It's beautifully written!
ReplyDeleteGreat....
ReplyDeleteThis is perfect!
ReplyDeleteThis was brilliant! Thank you :) I had a meeting with a doctor, work consultant and a physiotherapist today, they pulled all my most intimate traumas from past, and symptoms from present, onto the table, they have pushed all my trigger points at the same time, and then they asked if I have been giving it any thoughts since Monday and how do I propose I can fix my life. It was a humiliating hell. I wish I had your words to tell them, instead of crying....
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous:
DeletePls. do NOT allow the incredible insensitivity of others to drag you down into the abyss. Allow yourself time to heal from this situation. If it'll help, set a specific time each day to morn the loss of your former self. In the mean time, keep searching, keep reading, keep praying, and keep "pressing on"-- one minute/hour/day at a time. Lastly, take time to meditate and connect with yourself and your higher power. Learn to love yourself *just as you are*. Then, start slaying those dragons one at a time-- until you've created a loving and supportive network of physicians, family and friends.
I am currently walking a similar walk, and have been for many years. I'll be damned if I let one more uninformed physician or psychologist invalidate me, or type me as "one of those" patients, when I have legitimate health concerns. Blessings to you, my fellow fibro. warrior!
Dear Anonymous 3 Feb 2016:
DeletePls. do NOT allow the incredible insensitivity of others to drag you down into the abyss. Allow yourself time to heal from this situation. If it'll help, set a specific time each day to morn the loss of your former self. In the mean time, keep searching, keep reading, keep praying, and keep "pressing on"-- one minute/hour/day at a time. Lastly, take time to meditate and connect with yourself and your higher power. Learn to love yourself *just as you are*. Then, start slaying those dragons one at a time-- until you've created a loving and supportive network of physicians, family and friends.
I am currently walking a similar walk, and have been for many years. I'll be damned if I let one more uninformed physician or psychologist invalidate me, or type me as "one of those" patients, when I have legitimate health concerns. Blessings to you, my fellow fibro. warrior!
All: I apologize for the duplicate post. First time on this site (which is awesome!). First attempt at using cell phone to reply. Training wheels required. :)
DeleteBRILLIANT ~ FUNNY ~ NAILED IT! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! We are not alone.... :)
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing & totally true in every sense. Just like mental illness needs more recognition for being an actual illness that prevents people from doing everyday things, silent illnesses or invisible illnesses need to be acknowledged. Just because you can't see something doesn't meet it's not there.
ReplyDeleteI hope you got a satisfactory outcome of your interview, despite being 'too well presented'!
ReplyDeleteGreat reply to a backhanded compliment.....
ReplyDeleteWe firstly need to remember we are a customer when we seat ourselves in front of such 'professional' they exist because we do....
And yes it is a balancing act,,, when your outings are few... You take every opportunity to wear your finery... And it helps with keeping your power in your hands!!!!
Glad i found your blog... Love your work Kate