I've been wandering around a bit aimlessly this week. Trying to figure out what this new and different stage of life might look like. Caught up in the winding down from the frenetic pace that my working life had, the sorting out of the logistics of what not working for the next couple of months means, moving forward past the guilt that this entails, scheduling financial and medical appointments, mixed with a whole lot of random pain and a whole lot fatigue, that has made even lying in bed at times torture. Through this period I have had multiple conversations reiterating that no, my chronic fatigue isn't worse, it is pretty similar to what it has been over the past few years, but that my body cannot continue to function in the boom and bust cycle that I have been on for some time. I can't be simply attempting to survive a day at work, or an evening out, or getting through an event, then crashing for the next day. I needed to get out of survival mode. I needed to step away from the façade that is put up by anyone with an invisible illness, and acknowledge that my body is on strike, and there is no way (and no point) to keep fighting it. And for a highly independent, quite focused and driven individual to make this not feel like defeat is a challenge.
So the first week or two of leave I had all these grand plans. I wanted to be able to walk regularly, spend quality time with God, blog often, be creative, attempt projects I had never got around to doing, catch up on my life admin, start actually achieving some activities of daily living such as sorting my washing more often than once a month, and cooking proper meals. Surely these are all the things that could be done now that I am not using up so much energy with work. Yet this week, my body has told me that enough is enough and that's not what this time is about. God continues to speak into my life in these moments when I keep want to be powering forward on my own, and doing, and being, and moving. Yet, through the pain, and through the inability to keep up the façade, and when it feels like this earthly body has had enough, I am reminded of His goodness, and His kindness, and the joy that can come through Him alone. This week it may have not been seen in the ways I wanted, but through the people around me. Through those this week that prayed for me when the pain was constant, who gave me lifts so I could get out at night and to appointments, who helped my muddled brain work through the seemingly endless paperwork, and those who encouraged me to be vulnerable, and allowed me to share in their lives as well.
So, I have reached the end of the week, and I don't feel like I have achieved a thing...well...apart from the fact I sorted my washing today! This may not seem like a momentous achievement, but if you had seen the 4 loads of washing overflowing from the basket, and factored in the energy output required to sort it, fold and hang it all, the resultant lie down and do nothing phase on completion, you would agree that this was quite an accomplishment. But I am learning this week, that as my body takes its time to find an even keel, and find its balance, that achieving rest and quality rest in Him, is going to be a challenge. Something I need to work at, without working at it in my output focused manner, but despite what I do or don't do, through it all, each and every day, the good days and the less good days, God's goodness and love does follow me.
This post has not been the easiest to write. Mainly due to the fact I started making these icecream bites weeks ago, and it has taken ages to actually be able to finish them. And every 20 minutes worth of typing or photographing or baking requires a chunk of rest afterwards.
However, these bites themselves are so easy to make. So, before the summer taste of gorgeous fruit is a distant memory, have a try of these fruity icecream bites. I originally made a batch of these as berry coconut bites. They were tasty, however, I was inspired by recent recipes of friends (and cheap mangoes) to try a mango version. So here it is.
I have tried these with both berries and mango, but I reckon peaches would be awesome too. Or pineapple for a Pina colada inspired taste.
Here is the recipe for the mango version. As per all of my recipes, measurements are approximate. Use your discretion, and your taste and your intuition to bake. It's the best way to go!
- 1 tin coconut milk (refrigerated over night)
- 1/2 cup desiccated coconut
- 1 tsp vanilla essence
- 1/4 cup maple syrup
- 1 cup dark chocolate chips
- 1/3 cup coconut oil
Eat and enjoy, before summer fruit is a distant memory.
So the first week or two of leave I had all these grand plans. I wanted to be able to walk regularly, spend quality time with God, blog often, be creative, attempt projects I had never got around to doing, catch up on my life admin, start actually achieving some activities of daily living such as sorting my washing more often than once a month, and cooking proper meals. Surely these are all the things that could be done now that I am not using up so much energy with work. Yet this week, my body has told me that enough is enough and that's not what this time is about. God continues to speak into my life in these moments when I keep want to be powering forward on my own, and doing, and being, and moving. Yet, through the pain, and through the inability to keep up the façade, and when it feels like this earthly body has had enough, I am reminded of His goodness, and His kindness, and the joy that can come through Him alone. This week it may have not been seen in the ways I wanted, but through the people around me. Through those this week that prayed for me when the pain was constant, who gave me lifts so I could get out at night and to appointments, who helped my muddled brain work through the seemingly endless paperwork, and those who encouraged me to be vulnerable, and allowed me to share in their lives as well.
"Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6
So, I have reached the end of the week, and I don't feel like I have achieved a thing...well...apart from the fact I sorted my washing today! This may not seem like a momentous achievement, but if you had seen the 4 loads of washing overflowing from the basket, and factored in the energy output required to sort it, fold and hang it all, the resultant lie down and do nothing phase on completion, you would agree that this was quite an accomplishment. But I am learning this week, that as my body takes its time to find an even keel, and find its balance, that achieving rest and quality rest in Him, is going to be a challenge. Something I need to work at, without working at it in my output focused manner, but despite what I do or don't do, through it all, each and every day, the good days and the less good days, God's goodness and love does follow me.
This post has not been the easiest to write. Mainly due to the fact I started making these icecream bites weeks ago, and it has taken ages to actually be able to finish them. And every 20 minutes worth of typing or photographing or baking requires a chunk of rest afterwards.
However, these bites themselves are so easy to make. So, before the summer taste of gorgeous fruit is a distant memory, have a try of these fruity icecream bites. I originally made a batch of these as berry coconut bites. They were tasty, however, I was inspired by recent recipes of friends (and cheap mangoes) to try a mango version. So here it is.
mango icecream bites
mango icecream bites |
I have tried these with both berries and mango, but I reckon peaches would be awesome too. Or pineapple for a Pina colada inspired taste.
Here is the recipe for the mango version. As per all of my recipes, measurements are approximate. Use your discretion, and your taste and your intuition to bake. It's the best way to go!
assembled ingredients |
Ingredients
- Chopped up fruit (mango or berries or peaches).- 1 tin coconut milk (refrigerated over night)
- 1/2 cup desiccated coconut
- 1 tsp vanilla essence
- 1/4 cup maple syrup
- 1 cup dark chocolate chips
- 1/3 cup coconut oil
What to do
- Separate the thickened coconut cream from the tin. Beat on high with your mixer until thickened. (I freeze the leftover coconut milk for smoothies or making banana blender icecream).
- Add vanilla and maple syrup and mix well. Adjust measurements to taste.
- Mix in coconut.
- Spoon fruit into ice cube tray. (You could also use silicon cupcake pans or something similar)
- Spoon coconut mixture over and tap lightly on bench to remove bubbles.
- Freeze for a few hours.
- Once mango coconut mixture is frozen, melt chocolate and coconut oil in microwave in a deep container. Mine usually takes 2-3 mins (with regular stirring) on 50% heat.
- Once chocolate is smooth, dislodge mango coconut bites and drop individual pieces quickly into the chocolate mix. Rescue with a spoon and allow to set on baking paper. Return to freezer as soon as possible.
mango coconut bites ready for chocolate
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Eat and enjoy, before summer fruit is a distant memory.
mango icecream bites |