Make it, Bake it, Fake it: 2014

Trust

November 09, 2014

So it is Sunday night and I am home...alone.

This is not unusual to be home on a Sunday night, I quite like the chance to get mentally ready for the week and to be in the space where heading back to work tomorrow isn't too bad a thought.

However, I shouldn't be home tonight. I should be out. I had something on that I was looking forward to being at. But the thought of not getting to bed till after 10pm, just made me even more nauseous than I was already feeling.

So here I am feeling sorry for myself, with a cup of peppermint tea and a handful of Reece's Pieces. (Which by the way, now contain milk as their final ingredient...I'm sure the ones I had eaten in the past had been dairy free...anyway, I digress!) It is strange, that I am feeling this way, as I have just had an awesome conversation with my flat mates about decision making, trusting God and how we can look back in our lives and be blown away by seeing how he has worked through our circumstances. Or is it? Am I truly trusting God through the days like today when my arms feel like lead weights and the nausea is at its worst when I am lying down? Or am I just in a 'woe to me' frame of mind?

I was reminded to delve back into my favourite book I have read on suffering so far. Trusting God by Jerry Bridges. This book has spoken to me in so many ways, and has helped me categorise what has been going on in my head and in my life. It has helped me look to the cross and to God's promises as sustenance.

Our first priority in times of adversity is to honour and glorify God by trusting Him. We tend to make our first priority the gaining of relief from our feelings of heartache or disappointment or frustration. This is a natural desire, and God has promised to give us grace sufficient for our trials and peace for our anxieties.....We honour God by choosing to trust Him when we don't understand what He is doing or why He has allowed some adverse circumstance to occur. (Bridges, Trusting God, p52)

He has me. He holds me. And I trust Him in that.

Yes, the disappointment is there that life isn't going my way. Or that time and time again the symptoms make normal life impossible.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

He has me. He holds me. And I trust Him in that.

I am always reminded by how big and mighty our creator is as I look out over the wonderful things he has made.

burger

Paleo Chicken Burgers

October 23, 2014

bunting

Deck the walls with some easy doily bunting

October 22, 2014

cfs

My CFS Story- Part 2: Suddenly I couldn't

October 21, 2014

2013 started with more training, more running, more exercise, a new job, my brother's wedding (yay- I got a sister!). With a group of friends from church we were training for Tough Mudder. It was fun. I was loving trying to conquer a pull up (achieved!), and pushing myself to do things I never thought I could. I even had a half marathon on the possible radar. I was enjoying the social life, I was loving my new job, I was content. I was happy.

Beach view at the end of completing the Spit to Manly walk in early 2013.

However, my nose was still constantly running, I still felt like I had a low grade virus that just wouldn't go away.

I still remember the garagefit workout that changed everything. It was a 800m run, followed by pull ups or squats or kettle bell swings (or something like that), and then as many rounds as possible in 20minutes. I had tested it out during the week. I could potentially do 3 rounds in that time and that was my aim. I was running 20+kms each week and so thought not much of the workout. However, little was I to know that a pesky 800m run was going to start the snowball effect that would impact the next couple of years.

I don't know what was different on this Saturday morning, as opposed to any other morning. We began the WOD. We began the run. Sudddenly, I was struggling, I was out of breath. I couldn't breathe. Was I having an asthma attack? Ventolin wasn't doing a whole lot. I couldn't keep going. I felt a whole lot like this quote I had found on Pinterest about being more annoyed that you couldn't finish a WOD more than the injury itself!

A couple of days later I headed to the doctor with a long list of random things I had listed in my iPhone about what my body was doing.

Off I went for tests....
Blood tests.
Respiratory Specialists
Cardiologist
Immunologist.
Dietician.
No answers.

It even got to the point when I was told that maybe it could be psychological. However, that just didn't sit well with me.

So, after that appointment, I went home, put on my running gear and headed to the oval. Maybe if this was psychological I could run my hardest and push past whatever psychological barrier was there.

Let me tell you, it definitely wasn't psychological!

Anyway, by this stage I had eased up on the running and was just doing non cardio workouts. Anything to keep my breathing vaguely normal.

However, tough mudder was looming and so I did all I could to be ready.

Little did I know that the journey God had me on from this point on would remind me a lot of tough mudder, just a whole lot longer than 20kms.

I am to learn what this truly means over the coming months.

cfs

My CFS Story- Part 1: The Never Ending Cold

October 08, 2014

I have been really encouraged reading other peoples stories on blogs about their Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. I dislike reading other peoples 'how I cured my cfs/me in 6 month' stories, but instead love the inside story to what has sustained and strengthened people during this time of suffering, pain, questioning and hurt.

So, here's the first part of my story, if you are interested, have a read...

Part 1: The Never Ending Cold

I'm a to-do list kindof girl. I love a list and conquering a list and achieving way too much in a short period of time. I get really restless if I have time on my hands and I so don't know how to stop.

I'm a busy person...

In Term 4 2012, my day typically used to look like...

Get up and go for a run (3-5km), get ready for the day and do a quick quiet time over breakfast. Into work by 7.30am.

Prep for the day.

Teach between 8.30 and 3pm.

Followed by staff and parent meetings.

I was also a co-ordinator at the time and so that entailed more meetings and organising.

Leave work around 5.30pm (yes, it is true, teachers do not work a 9-3pm day!), go to the gym, or to life group, or garagefit or out to dinner. Get home 9.30-10pm.

Repeat again the next day.

This was all well and good. I felt great, was the fittest I had been in along while, was in the process of figuring out future career plans, enjoyed my social life, was independent, loved church and mostly things were pretty good.

However, I felt like I just kept getting a cold. It was never ending. My nose kept on running, my body was a bit worn down and I had developed 3pm itis.

I hit 3pm and the kids had left for the day and before I could fathom cleaning the room or planning or heading to a meeting I needed to put my head down on my desk and just stop for a bit. Only chocolate seemed to buoy me out of this slump. And so with a sugar pick me up (thank you Ruth my coworker), I would pick my head up and keep on moving...

Celebrating my brother's wedding in January 2013.

birthday

Celebrating and Choconut Berry Bars

October 03, 2014

cfs

Be Still (and Silver Coffee Tables)

July 12, 2014

birthday

Layers of Thankfulness

June 20, 2014

Layer Cakes

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I am learning to be joyful. I am learning to be having the ongoing chats with my Lord and saviour.

But at the moment, most of all, I am learning to be thankful in all and everything.

The challenge is, though, what can I be thankful for in the hours or days of pain, nausea and fatigue. I can be thankful for being sustained, I can be thankful for those that are upholding me in prayer, I can be thankful for the support and understanding of those around me, I can be thankful for all the people I have in my life who are a blessing to me.

And that leads me to being thankful for my mum. My mum, my best friend, a true servant, who is filled with compassion, who goes above and beyond to serve and love those around her, and she does this tirelessly and without complaint. You can see it in her dedication to her students and her school. It can be seen in her love for her family and desire to help us in whatever practical way she can. I am thankful that mum introduced me to Jesus as a child. I am thankful that she took us all to Sunday school throughout our childhood. I am thankful that she would drive me back and forth to Youth group on a Friday night. Mum modelled to us what it meant to be a dedicated teacher. And even though we saw the amount of work she put in teaching, for little recognition or pay, there was something there that caught us, sparked our interest in teaching, and so now she has three grown children who are all teachers. That speaks volumes about a person.

There is so much I am thankful about having my mum in my life. From the afternoon coffees after long days or weeks at work. To the chats on the phone. To the practical help I need now. Mum is not afraid to get in there and get things done. (As seen by my latest house moving adventures!).

So, this post (though slightly delayed) about layer cakes comes at a time when we were celebrating mum and her 60 years. A special birthday and a special person, deserved a special cake.

To create flat layer cakes- cut a strip of fabric (I used part of a tea towel), wet it, wring it and wrap it around the cake pan. Secure with pins. This slows the baking of the outside of the cake to allow it to rise at a consistent rate.

Four flat layers- different pink tones.

Sandwich layers with white chocolate ganache. Don't spread all the way to the outside, it will squish as the pressure increases.

Spread the ganache around the edges. Use a palate knife to make it smooth.

Cake iced!

Thank you to Anita for teaching me how to make fondant flowers.

Layers of yumminess!

almonds

Choc chip blondies (dairy free and gluten free)

March 19, 2014

brown paper packages

All Wrapped Up

January 29, 2014

Chocolate

LOL

January 27, 2014

LOL

Lots of Layers

I am thankful for the garagefit community from SovGrace Sydney. With whom I have loved training, hanging, building friendships, and doing cool things like tough mudder (which I would have never pictured myself doing).

Thank you for your patience with me, as I have gone from one illness to another this past year, and one modification in a WOD to now not being able to participate at all. Thank you for cheering me on, supporting me, letting me hang with you, and for continuing to be interested in how I am going. You are all top people!

Love you all... This one is the recipe from our Paleo Christmas dinner the other week.

A Paleo Dessert

This may seem like lots of ingredients and fiddley, however, this dish is really quite fast once you have started.

CRUST

1 ½ cups of pecans or almonds

¾ cup dates (fresh dates are best)

4 tbsp coconut oil

Food process nuts and dates until finely chopped. Stir in coconut oil. Press into base of lined pan. Refrigerate.

SECOND LAYER

2/3 cup cashew or almond butter *

1/3 cup coconut oil

2tsp apple cider vinegar

½ tsp lemon juice

Stir all together and spread on top of crust. Refrigerate.

THIRD LAYER

2/3 cup almond meal

½ cup desiccated coconut

1 cup coconut milk

2 tbsp honey

1 tsp vanilla extract

Mix together and spread on top of second layer. Refrigerate.

FOURTH and FIFTH LAYERS

1 cup coconut milk **

2 tbsp honey

¼ cup cocoa powder

Beat the thick coconut cream and the honey until it looks like whipped cream.***

Remove half the whipped coconut cream and set aside.

Add the cocoa gradually to the remaining mixture and beat until it looks like chocolate mousse.

Spread this on top of the third layer and then refrigerate (or even stick in the freezer to speed up this process.)

Once it has firmed up, spread the other half of white whipped coconut cream on top.

SIXTH LAYER

A couple of pieces of dark chocolate, grated

Sprinkle this on top of the fifth layer and refrigerate until you are readyto serve.

*Or if you are not feeling completely paleo, peanut butter will work too.

** Try and leave your coconut milk in the fridge overnight and so the cream thickens and separates from the clearer milk, scoop out the thicker cream to use, save the clearer milk for astir fry.

***If your coconut cream starts looking grey and grainy…the truth is it isn’t going to beat…and so try again with a new can…sometimes this just happens!

P.S. I am really thankful for strong friends who make things such as moving a ton less painful!

Adapted from http://grokgrub.com/2013/10/31/paleo-sex-in-a-pan/