The Art of Crashing in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

December 27, 2016

What a MECFS Crash Really Feels Like

Well, what it felt like to me...yesterday.

Make It, Bake It, Fake it

As I type this my arms are heavy and sore. Particularly the shoulder that sublaxed and slipped in and out of place last night as I carried my Christmas presents in from the car...a whole day of carrying nephews and it is my loot that sets it off. I must have scored well! My arms are held close to my body, cushioned by pillows, and I peck at my iPad keyboard with two fingers, allowing them to only need to move marginally to write. 

My legs feel like dead weights. I have a headache behind my right eye. My breathing is laboured and effort full. My eyes spin in and out of focus. 
I spend the day alternating between the bed and the couch. Some times weighing up the pros and cons of getting up to take medication vs the fact medication requires food...and food requires energy to hunt, gather and prepare. I get up when the pain gets unbearable. Then there is the nausea.

A tv show that I don't have to follow too closely plays on the tv. Something to make it feel like I am not completely wasting away my day, my life.

Tears come rapidly and without a moments notice...spilled over not much in the scheme of things. Emotionally spent.

Despite how I am feeling, sleep is fitful that evening.

And I wake the following day feeling like I have a hangover (not that I'm exactly sure what that is meant to feel like), my body limp like a Raggedy-Anne doll.

I kind of sprawl out of bed and make it into the bathroom. 

I need to leave the house in an hour... I lean against the shower wall as the water washes over me... "I can do this," I mutter to myself.

I can do this. 

The cycle continues.

I can do this.


Make It, Bake it, Fake it

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