Dear Doctor

March 15, 2016



Hope amidst pain




Dear Doctor,

I am sorry I got my hopes up before coming to see you today. A hope that you would have an answer, a solution or an idea for a step forward. That just maybe this appointment might lead to an end to my pain.



Dear Doctor,

I am sorry that I had so high expectations. An expectation that maybe this time things would be different, that you would understand my disease that consumes my body. That just maybe you would just get it. That you would take my concerns seriously.



Dear Doctor,

I am sorry that I did not look unwell enough to be in that much pain. That my appearance and demeanor did not fit the profile of someone in chronic pain. That I am still trying to live my life to the fullest, that I am battling each day to keep moving forward, that it hasn't defeated me yet.


Dear Doctor,

I am sorry that I took up your time. Time that you made abundantly clear was running short even though you acknowledged you were running late because you had to touch base with your secretary before you went on holidays next week. Time that you could have crammed another patient in, earned another $450 for that holiday.


Dear Doctor,

I am sorry I didn't agree with the way you labeled and considered my disease. This disease is a complex beast...but at least some basic understanding of how a body functions with this disease should be a medical school requirement. This disease is not unusual. It is not rare.


Dear Doctor,

I am sorry that I have tried that medication, that therapy, and that approach. I am not saying I have the answers...that is why I was there...but I have lived with this body for 34 years...and I have tried many things.


Dear Doctor,

I am sorry that I needed to ask the money questions. About how much would that option would leave me financially out of pocket and about whether the medications were subsidised. Being a professional patient living on welfare is a very hard balancing act of finances.


Dear Doctor,

I am sorry that I needed to see you today. Seeing a specialist like you is not something I approach lightly. Seeing a specialist in your field was because I was at my wit's end, and there are times when I acknowledge that I am not coping with the pain. Seeing you today was because I can live with pain daily, I've proved that for everyday so far that I have got through, but even tough people who spend their life downplaying their pain need help too.


Dear Doctor,

I am sorry that I cried. As yet again my voice didn't get heard. And yet again I was walking away without answers.


Dear Doctor,

I am sorry that I placed so much hope in today. Yet, I am so thankful that my ultimate hope does not rest in finding answers today. That I have an eternal hope of tomorrow...where there ultimately will be no more crying and no more pain. I am so thankful for that reminder today.


Yours sincerely,

Your 1.30pm patient
.




NB- This is based on one appointment, with one specialist, focusing on one particular thing my body is doing...I do have some very lovely and excellent doctors and health professionals I am working with who I am very thankful for!


Hope amidst heartache and pain

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9 comments

  1. This describes pretty much doctors appointment I've ever had. Spot on!

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    1. Thank you! It's so sad that is so often the case!

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  2. This describes pretty much doctors appointment I've ever had. Spot on!

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  4. This is wonderful. I'll be sharing it on my social media because this is how women are often treated (more so than men). That's why I started the website www.misstreated.org devoted to the issue of medical sexism.

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  5. Literally made me cry. I am so sorry you went through this. Been there, and it's not fun. Thank you for posting this - it's a too common occurrence, and it's time pain patients are treated as if they had any other chronic condition like diabetes or high blood pressure. I'd like to interview you on my radio show. I'll be in touch!! -Ginger

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  6. Why is it the best doctors are not in the fields that (are supposed to) treat our pain conditions??? I'm going through allergy testing at the moment and I absolutely love that doctor!!!! My PCP listens to me, the Gynecologist (while very quick and in-and-out) was very nice. I adore my Chiropractor to no end!! The Pain Specialist? Mastered the art of pretending to listen. Rheumatologist?? I really don't trust her =/ but being on Medi-Cal I don't have much of a choice right now.

    Thank-you for putting our frustrations into words!!!!!!!

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  7. People with impairments and their families can get support from the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) to help them reach their objectives and lead as independent a life as possible. Over 600 skilled and experienced professionals work with us to offer NDIS participants in-home and community care. For NDIS participants seeking independence and a secure living space, we also offer three supported independent living apartments. Get assistance from a reliable, skilled NDIS service provider to reach your objectives and lead an independent life.

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  8. Loved reading this thhank you

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